Be present at our table, Lord;
Be here and everywhere adored;
Thy creatures bless, and grant that we
May feast in paradise with Thee.

That’s how my mother kicked off supper when I was growing up on the plains of Nebraska.

Nowadays, Elizabeth, my mother, would be called a single mother. At the time, Mom was called a widow. She was also the CEO of the family organization.

When Mom became a widow, there were five children out of nine still living at home, and I was second youngest. If any family needed to pray before meals, it was ours.

One more thing: think about nine children. The first thing that pops into my mind is no problem with decreasing enrollment.

Suppers were special to the Zitterkopf family. We knew that the prayer for the meal and the family time around the table were good for us. Now we have research that indicates the same thing. Well, Mom didn’t need no stinkin’ research!

Before I get to my mother’s leadership skills, let me point out that all of the Zitterkopf kids had different skills and talents. My older brother, Jennings, was a flat-out bloodhound when it came to locating Mom’s chocolate chip cookies. Here’s the story. A few days before Christmas, my mother would bake a big batch of two thousand chocolate chip cookies. She would lay out about 50 for immediate consumption, and would hide the rest for the future. She might conceal the treats, hermetically sealed in plastic bags, in the bottom of the freezer, under the frozen sausage. Or, she would store them behind the flour barrel in the walk-in pantry, or in the closet, behind some clothes. It didn’t matter to Jennings. His nose was a Geiger counter when it came to sniffing out chocolate chips.

What about Mom’s leadership skills? First, she had practicality and vision rolled into one. She provided a clean, caring, and safe home while at the same time, encouraging us kids to work hard to eventually make our own way. My mother’s primary purpose and goal was to properly raise her kids. Period. Talk about organizational focus!  

Second, she modeled humility. Jim Collins, author of “Good to Great,” would have classified her as a top Level 5 servant-leader. She knew and applied Biblical truth when she pointed out that the last shall be first and the first shall be last; and, that pride goes before a fall. While she was demanding, she was also forgiving – an iron fist in a velvet glove.  

Third, she was extremely knowledgeable and intelligent even though she had literally no formal education. Robert Sternberg, a Harvard professor, has written extensively on human intelligence. While many intelligence tests relate to verbal and mathematical aptitude, Sternberg’s studies indicate that there are other types of intelligence, including an intuitive, “street smart” category. Well, Elizabeth exuded this type of intelligence which was embedded in her thinking as a result of her life experiences.

Fourth, Mom knew how to delegate responsibilities. She held forth high expectations that delegated responsibilities would be carried out. At the end of many meals, it was a family activity to clean up. One would wash, one would dry, one would dust mop the floor, etcetera. Except for Alice. She would disappear into the bathroom for a half-hour. Was she doing her homework in there? After all, it was a quiet place and the kitchen table was not available.

The inviting culture of Mom’s organization was best demonstrated on Friday afternoons. I’d walk into the house after a week at school, and the aroma of fresh-baked rye bread would hit me. Oh, man! I would sit at the kitchen table with an entire loaf, plenty of real home-churned butter, a bottle of pop – and life doesn’t get any better.

It really didn’t make any difference as to who walked into the house. They were always welcome, and there was always something to eat. I doubt if there was anybody’s company that Mom couldn’t enjoy. And, there wasn’t anybody that didn’t enjoy her company.

Leadership is a difficult thing to define or explain, especially for leaders. If I had asked Mom about her leadership style, I am guessing she would have simply responded with “Do the right thing.”

Do you remember the TV show, Sanford and Son? In almost every episode, the widower Fred Sanford would feign a heart attack. With his eyes looking upward toward Heaven, he would clutch his chest and address his departed wife: “I’m comin’ to see you Elizabeth.”  I always laughed at the line.

My last words might be identical.

“I’m comin’ to see you Elizabeth!”  

Mom will laugh at the line.

(Dr. Randy Zitterkopf is the excutive director of the Carver-Scott Educational Cooperative. He and other columnists can be reached by contacting the editor at editor@jordannews.com.)